Play, water and presence can help tamariki with big feelings

Toi Tangata is encouraging whānau to look beneath the surface when tamariki have big emotions, using tākaro, movement, breath and time with wai.

According to the organisation, the feelings inside tamariki can be bigger than the words they have to express them. Frustration, excitement, sadness, fear and uncertainty can show up in ways that are hard to understand.

The article draws on the kaupapa of Kaiāio and the mātauranga held in pūrākau. It uses Ruaumoko, the atua associated with the movements beneath Papatūānuku, to reflect on how intense feelings can be. Big emotions are compared to the shaking of the whenua: powerful and unpredictable.

What adults can do

Toi Tangata suggests looking past behaviour alone. Adults can pause and ask what a tamaiti is feeling and what they might need in that moment, because what shows on the outside may be only part of the picture.

Some tamariki need space to move and release built-up energy. Others may need quiet, closeness or the reassurance of a familiar voice.

Simple experiences with wai can create a pause. These include splashing, pouring, bathing or spending time near water. The organisation says such moments can help tamariki reconnect and shift the rhythm of a difficult time.

Through the relationship with Tangaroa and the waters between earth and sky, wai becomes part of the kete for handling big emotions. The aim is not to suppress feelings. It is to give tamariki room to reconnect with their bodies, express themselves and find a different rhythm.

Presence

Tamariki do not need to go through these moments alone, Toi Tangata says. The tone adults use, the way they respond and their willingness to stay connected all shape how a hard moment unfolds.

Adults may not always have the right words, and they may not be able to resolve things straight away. Sometimes, the article notes, presence is where connection begins.

Through tākaro, Whakatau Hā and the everyday rituals of Te Kete Āio, whānau can give tamariki chances to become familiar with their feelings. Tamariki can also discover what helps them and experience support from whānau.

Kaiāio does not aim to prevent every shake or eruption, or to keep tamariki calm all the time, the organisation says. It is about recognising what is happening, responding with intention and helping tamariki reconnect as the intensity settles.

In this view, big emotions are not just behaviours to manage. They are experiences to understand, relationships to nurture and chances to learn more about what tamariki need.

More information

The full article is on the Toi Tangata website, where news and resources on tākaro and other kaupapa are also listed. People can phone Toi Tangata on 09 638 5800 or email [email protected].